Being a mum is a bit of a minefield. You might look at me sideways for saying that, but in spite of how hard it is in general to keep a brand new, helpless human alive every day, it’s also quite difficult to live up to mum-expectations.
It’s a very odd thing that I have encountered, even before I became a mum, & something that really baffles me.
Picture it – you go through 40 weeks of the intense discomfort of pregnancy, childbirth in whatever way, shape or form it happens to you, get left alone in a hospital bed with a squirming, pink, demanding creature, get sent home probably earlier than you feel ready for & are suddenly hit with the ‘holy fuck I’m an actual mother now’ blues. You turn to a friend or group of friends who are mums themselves thinking you will be welcomed with open arms & a library of advice & are met with brick walls.
Oh you’re not breastfeeding/you’re co-sleeping/using disposable nappies/using cloth nappies/babywearing/using that brand of formula/wipes/bottles/pacifiers/breast pads etc etc etc cue screaming & hair pulling.
I mean REALLY.
We are all mums. There, I said it, it’s out in the open now like an exploded nappy. WE ARE ALL MUMS. Did you hear me or do we need to do it again?
Just like there are different types of fashion sense, different favourite colours, different favourite TV shows, there are always going to be differences. If everyone parented the same then every kid would be the same & every adult would be desperately fucking boring. There would be no variations.
There are obviously, some
rules to follow when it comes to babies; generally as long as they are fed, bathed, clothed & happy, then we’ll done mum, you’re doing a great job. But jesus lads, the mum-shaming has to stop. I give zero fucks as to what way someone else is feeding their child. As long as they are feeding them, then what business is it of mine. Same goes for any other subject I’ve mentioned above.
Is it my business? No!
That’s a question that people need to be asking themselves before giving their oh-so-helpful opinion or advice, unless it’s asked for of course. Just take a split second to ask – is this my business? If the answer is no, then keep the trap shut & skip along on your merry way to raise your kids how you like. & leave me to do it my way, the way I can cope with dealing with my individual little child.
The world has gone mad with the internet & shaming every last thing you can think of, & genuinely getting offended over things that have nothing to do with them. Aside from the actual world issues & daily travesties that happen that we should be worried about, what colour underwear I have on is noone else’s concern.
Ladies, it is hard enough to be a woman & even harder to be a mother without us ganging up on each other. We should be lifting each other up, supporting each other & passing on words of encouragement & help. We should be doing our best to help the new mothers of the world to deal with one of the hardest jobs with the feeling of support behind us rather than wondering who is judging us in the open or behind closed doors.
Life is hard enough, let’s be the kind of women who build each other up. It feels a lot better than tearing each other down, trust me.